i miss you.

i miss being her.

work has been taking a toll. not from the amount, cos i don't think i do much at all everyday.. but from the fact i'm working. it's worse when everyone around me are having holidays. two weeks. TWO weeks. i don't even get to take more than two days off without feeling like an awful employee. everyone gets to wake up late, go out for meals or shopping.. anytime anyday. heck, they get to visit Floriade when the weather that day so happens to be a clear and sunny one and not just *hope and cross fingers* that saturday or sunday will have the same weather too. i was looking forward to finally go see the same-darn-tulips this weekend but noticed that both saturday and sunday are looking awfully wet according to the forecast.

hhaa ya wth. i check out weather forecasts nowadays. cos the weather dictates what I can do for the weekend and most of all.. for conversational purposes at work. i have NOTHING to talk about with my colleagues/boss. so i end up only talking most to the boss' wife in which our conversations revolve mainly around the weather and what we're going to do for the weekend. which is why it is so important to know whether it's gonna be a beautiful day or a chilly wet one. sad? yeah, i think so too.

everyday as i walk out of unilodge (especially these few days when the temperature decides to be such a lovely friend) i wish i could either be still sleeping in if the day was a gloomy one, or getting dressed in my spring attire (thongs .. floral dresses and all) heading out for a nice day out or just chilling at a cafe. haha yeah that's ideal. but even heading to uni for a boring 1 hour lecture is much better than going to work.

my week is mainly lived with one purpose in mind; to reach the weekend. monday-friday? who cares, the picture is of a blur in my mind. saturday sunday is what i look forward to.. which happens to fly pass me too quickly. then there's the long awaited public holiday this coming monday. labour day. Labour Day ok. my day. to rest. but nooooo. my boss decides to spill it to me that i have training to attend on that day. which means i won't have my holiday! omg, depressed is an understatement. do you know i was looking forward to it sooo much i had it marked on my darn calendar?? but nope. you've got a 8.30am-4.30pm day in some goodness-knows-where-ulu-paria place ouut in fyshwick. for a week.

i guess i should be thankful since the course he signed me up for (dip. of financial planning) actually costs quite alot. like hmm.. alot la. and after nxt wk i'm almost half way there di. so yeah, don't know to be happy or urghh also. but i'm just so tired la of work. i know i sound like some spoilt brat who just wants to stay home and go shopping haha* but this transition is so difficult. so so difficult. especially when all my friends are still in uni. AND with uncles and aunties as workmates.

i feel like i've been so frustrated and bored with work that i no longer remember how it is to just wake up and think.. should i go for class today :) maybe not. and just sleep in. or having a casual chat with friends i run into along the way home after class. or just head out to uni just because :) i miss the me who didn't have to worry about what boss thought.. or what boss had to say. or if i'd have enough to pay my bills if i took this amount of leave. i miss having 7 days a week and not just two. i miss being able to just go out during the weekdays when i wanted to and not only rely on saturdays and sundays. i feel like i have such a negative outlook these days. which is horrible. i have to keep reminding myself.. I am more than a conquerer! I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!

yeap. amen to that.

one more day and it's the weekend. oh please God don't let it fly by so quickly.

amen to that too.