i have been really busy/hyped up/stressed/excited/happy about my whole job search efforts this past two weeks. i have really just started applying the friday before last.
AND.
i actually got through to the next round! me. that BIG 4 company. THAT one. i was ecstatic. and at camp. like wayyyy awayyy from any comfy quiet room with a laptop (with internet access) which would allow me to sit down and do my online testing. resorted to cramming in an empty room with the noisy and the roomie and a very expensive wireless internet access. sufferred a horrendously long session of online tests of english & maths. omg i haven't counted for ages. i mean, apart from calculating how much i spend on groceries (and shopping) weekly. so anyway, the morning straight after, i got a call from THAT place. i got through! to have the opportunity of attending their assessment event. that one which allows them to test you individually and monitor you in a group. talk. talk talk talk. make sure you talk.
AND.
again i got called for a FINAL interview! :) *palms sweating. *mouth stretching into a gleeful smile. * heart beating so much faster. spent (almost) my entire Sunday preparing. questions, reading up. . then it was the day. dressed up for the occassion, stressed like nobody's business, but ready to nail that position. walked in, completed my verification for the online testing and sailed thru (i thought anyway) the interview.
that was all yesterday. before i slept, i prayed for His will to be above all that happens. i was frankly very scared to say that because i KNEW that no matter how well i could have thought it went, the door could be just slammed in face. like splat. like nose flat against the door that i was running so fast into. but i really wanted to learn to trust Him. and i knew that He will never shortchange me and that His plans are always, always for the best. clinging on to *jeremiah 29: 11 i prayed that prayer hoping for the best.
i set my alarm for an early wake up today *just in case! they decided to call me early and i didn't want to sound like i just woke up (worse, if it was already 11 or noon). 10 am. no call. that's alright, they called me at 11.30 the last time. 11am, no call. 11.30am no call. 12. still no call :( i was getting worried. i mean, it is a tough decision. fine, maybe they'll call me after lunch. 1.30. STILL no call. my ears wanting so badly to hear that ringtone.
at 1.57pm it rang.
i grabbed my phone. asked the roomie to turn off my itunes. picked up the call. it was the partner who interviewed me. 'not bad huh, they get the partner to do the calling for the final offer' i thought to myself. THEN. he said..
'i just called to say you weren't offered the position.'
i replayed the sentence in my head. did i hear wrongly? weren't. were. no. it was weren't. then he continued..
'don't be too disappointed.'
HA HA. right.
'we have no pressing reasons as to why you weren't chosen. we just felt that the other candidates were more suited for the job.'
wasn't listening. just remembered saying bye and hanging up. i didn't know to be happy or sad. i mean after all, i prayed it for goodness sake. i knew that God was gonna give me an even better one if this didn't turn out. but why. why the heaviness. why that heavy disappointment. text messaged my *very hopeful parents. :) probably in higher hopes than me. then straight to the bed.
teared. cried.
AND.
i actually got through to the next round! me. that BIG 4 company. THAT one. i was ecstatic. and at camp. like wayyyy awayyy from any comfy quiet room with a laptop (with internet access) which would allow me to sit down and do my online testing. resorted to cramming in an empty room with the noisy and the roomie and a very expensive wireless internet access. sufferred a horrendously long session of online tests of english & maths. omg i haven't counted for ages. i mean, apart from calculating how much i spend on groceries (and shopping) weekly. so anyway, the morning straight after, i got a call from THAT place. i got through! to have the opportunity of attending their assessment event. that one which allows them to test you individually and monitor you in a group. talk. talk talk talk. make sure you talk.
AND.
again i got called for a FINAL interview! :) *palms sweating. *mouth stretching into a gleeful smile. * heart beating so much faster. spent (almost) my entire Sunday preparing. questions, reading up. . then it was the day. dressed up for the occassion, stressed like nobody's business, but ready to nail that position. walked in, completed my verification for the online testing and sailed thru (i thought anyway) the interview.
that was all yesterday. before i slept, i prayed for His will to be above all that happens. i was frankly very scared to say that because i KNEW that no matter how well i could have thought it went, the door could be just slammed in face. like splat. like nose flat against the door that i was running so fast into. but i really wanted to learn to trust Him. and i knew that He will never shortchange me and that His plans are always, always for the best. clinging on to *jeremiah 29: 11 i prayed that prayer hoping for the best.
i set my alarm for an early wake up today *just in case! they decided to call me early and i didn't want to sound like i just woke up (worse, if it was already 11 or noon). 10 am. no call. that's alright, they called me at 11.30 the last time. 11am, no call. 11.30am no call. 12. still no call :( i was getting worried. i mean, it is a tough decision. fine, maybe they'll call me after lunch. 1.30. STILL no call. my ears wanting so badly to hear that ringtone.
at 1.57pm it rang.
i grabbed my phone. asked the roomie to turn off my itunes. picked up the call. it was the partner who interviewed me. 'not bad huh, they get the partner to do the calling for the final offer' i thought to myself. THEN. he said..
'i just called to say you weren't offered the position.'
i replayed the sentence in my head. did i hear wrongly? weren't. were. no. it was weren't. then he continued..
'don't be too disappointed.'
HA HA. right.
'we have no pressing reasons as to why you weren't chosen. we just felt that the other candidates were more suited for the job.'
wasn't listening. just remembered saying bye and hanging up. i didn't know to be happy or sad. i mean after all, i prayed it for goodness sake. i knew that God was gonna give me an even better one if this didn't turn out. but why. why the heaviness. why that heavy disappointment. text messaged my *very hopeful parents. :) probably in higher hopes than me. then straight to the bed.
God, it was so difficult. i know i said whatever the outcome, i know You're in control. but that was in hope i would get it. :( so human of me. i guess it was a lesson God was teaching me. but also, somehow i had this weird feeling since the beginning that God could just be using this opportunity for it to be an experience. i just didn't think i had to go through the entire process. *haha God is not a God of half-ways i guess.
oh well. i'm ok now. dragged the roomie out with me to do some retail therapy. cooked myself a good dinner. haha *good.
back to square one. sending out resumes and applications again. but claiming the promise.
'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.'
jeremiah twenty nine eleven.
okay.
bring it on :)
No comments:
Post a Comment